Western Railroad Discussion > Now This Is Funny

This is very funny:
Locomotive Inspection for Switchmen




Since Remote control has become a sad fact of life, switchmen have been forced to figure out how to report locomotive defects. This has led to some of the following exchanges between mechanical dep't folks and us dumb-assed switchmen. Here are some actual locomotive defect reports logged into the computer (marked with a D) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by roundhouse employees.

D: Front air hose almost needs replacement.
S: Front air hose almost replaced.

D: Something loose in cab.
S: Something tightened in cab.

D: Evidence of oil leak.
S: Evidence removed.

D: Alerter volume unbelievably loud.
S: Alerter volume set to more believable level.

D: Suspected crack in #1 axle R-side brake shoe.
S: Suspect you're right.

D: Engine missing.
S: Engine found after brief search in engine compartment.

D: Radio constantly hums.
S: Changed radio to channel with lyrics.

D: Sanders won't turn off
S: Charged sanders with Level-5 insubordination

D: Hint of flat spots #3 axle
S: Hint of repair #3 axle

D: Bell only works occasionally
S: Bell only repaired occasionally

D: Horn is really loud
S: Closed all windows

D: Cannot depress independent brake valve
S: Replaced cheerful brake valve with depressed brake valve

D: Gauge light burned out
S: Gauge light placed on vacation

D: Windshield wipers won't work
S: Windshield wipers given stern warning

D: Lots of smoke coming out the stack
S: That is where it is supposed to come out

D: Think the amp gauge is off
S: Think it's on

D: Wheel slip light keeps coming on
S: Replaced wheel slip light


D: Horrible smell coming from toilet
S: Flushed toilet

Worthy of David Letterman's top 10 list.

Haven't laughed this hard in quite a while! Hilarious!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thanks. I really needed that laugh.

that there's funny I don't care what anybody says

get r done

Hilarious Stretch!

Sad but true

It's also a blatant copy of the email that has been going around aviation circles for at least 10 years, just changed to make it more railroad oriented. In it's original form, it was a pilots maintenance write up's, and maintenance responses. i.e. "number 3 engine missing". "Number three engine found after brief search on right wing." etc. These are NOT actual write ups from trainmen.
TR

TriangleRoute Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's also a blatant copy of the email that has
> been going around aviation circles for at least 10
> years, just changed to make it more railroad
> oriented. In it's original form, it was a pilots
> maintenance write up's, and maintenance responses.
> i.e. "number 3 engine missing". "Number three
> engine found after brief search on right wing."
> etc. These are NOT actual write ups from
> trainmen.
> TR


Yup. Funny as it is -- and I did enjoy reading it again -- it's not a new creation, just a variation on a theme.

I guess I should withold my laughter then.

Did he say this was true? No, I went back and read the original post and he only said this was "Funny".

We may begin an investigation to determine if this was an actual write up from a avaition inspection of some sort to determine if it truely can be laughed at. A full report should be ready by July 2009.

Stretch has been ' Snakebitten ' . . . ( Recently printed in satiric online pub: 'Snakebites', by employees of UPs Roseville, CA facility. Entire issue is ' a gem '. )

also since new computor advances on the up like gooey and other programs when a forman tyes up, the computor has about five redundent screens and assortment of same type questions about engines problems and and since half of the remote crew are relitively new hire or old head that still don,t do the engineer job engine check well, if you try to use one sscreen to report a defect at least one screen will never cooperate i watched four crews at tye up time each having some problem , and when the help line finally answered the computor clerk told us we had to find a way to finish by ourself becuse they can,t look at those screens something about FRA