Railroaders' Nostalgia > Switch job hideaway vs stuck radio button...

Here’s a tale of mystery & intrigue, and just plain bad luck that should be familiar to about every railroader on board this TO express! When I first heard this tale of sheer cheeky bravado that ended in collective disciplinary woe I thought it had emanated from the Fairfax district in Kansas City sometime in the 1970s. I’ve since heard a few variations of this classic story from different areas of the country. As a cautionary tale like this gets repeated more and more, it inevitably goes through alterations. So the original (read: true) story may be vastly different from the version you heard “just the other day”. As for the probability of the radio broadcast portion of this story being accurate, I’ll give it the classic 98.6%. But as for the likelihood of this switching fiasco, or some similar “F”-up actually happening in the RR industry I’ll give it a 110% probability. As Forest Gump coined: “S*** Happens”. Anyhow, here’s the story as I remember it:

Late one evening a switch crew was at work in a huge yard in one of the more remote areas switching out a long, but routine cut of cars in a completely flat part of the yard. They were all veteran switchmen, so they confidently kept a steady flow of ‘kicked’ cars rolling into their various tracks. As all railroaders will attest to they had an unfortunate incident happen before any of the men on the ground could notice & prevent the resulting catastrophe. A couple of loads they had kicked into (say..) 8 track had not quite coupled into the cars already there. These cars then had the audacity to defy Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity, which deals with gravity. Against physical law the loads were rolling ever-so-slowly back out onto the lead. Meanwhile the crew was exercising Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity, which deals with high-speed motion. They had “wound ‘em up” and kicked a few more loads that had to go way deep into 7 track. In doing so they had proven an old RR theory (not known to have been connected to Einstein) that 2 loads barely creeping in one direction cannot successfully occupy the same air space, at the same time as 5 loads rolling energetically in the other direction into an adjacent track.

The resulting cacophony of screeching & brutally tortured steel was heard by all, even the engineer who was over a dozen cars away. He immediately stopped his engine and noticed the lanterns of his ground crewmen had disappeared. He tried to call his foreman but got no answer. He had kept a calm radio voice but inside he was starting to worry that something very bad had happened. Fearing for the safety of his ground men he tried calling both helpers, again with no answer. He thought maybe the radio was on the wrong channel and started fiddling with the knobs & buttons. Still no answer. Several anxious & gut-wrenching moments later the 3 ground crewmen ascended into the cab for a “pow-wow”. Of course, the engineer was relieved to see his men uninjured, but asked the inevitable ‘what happened’ question. To which the eloquent switch foreman went into a grand and very colorful soliloquy about cornered cars here, jack-knifed cars there & derailed cars all over hell & creation. He then ended his verbal prose with this graceful epilogue: “Basically, we’re ALL F***ED UP!!!”.

For several long seconds it was very quiet inside the cab. The engineer realized this incident would have to be called in, so he reached for the radio mike. The second his fingers brushed the transmit button, the radio crackled to loud life with a sharp voice demanding to know which crew this was that had just broadcast all the accident’s pertinent details over the radio! Due to the stuck button he knew his crew now had nothing left to lose, so he simply stated: “Well, we’re not THAT f***ed up…”

The three images I’ve posted below reminded me not only of the story I just told. They also remind me of a story a little closer to home, which I’m 99.99% sure is true. It deals with men I worked with on Santa Fe’s Middle Division. (I’m not holding back any names in an attempt to protect the guilty, I just can’t remember any names… ;^) During any given bean (lunch) period at either North Wichita or Sand Creek =Newton= yard offices we Santa Fe switch crews were for the most part very avid Pitch players. This is a card game that is usually played fast and very energetically. We could usually get a couple games completed during the 30” allowed for lunch. But if a game wasn’t completed at lunch, it simply HAD to be completed by other means. We’re talking about the incredibly vast sums of 50 or 75 cents, or (gasp!) even a dollar or more to the winner. One evening a crew failed to get a second game completed, so they spirited a deck of cards and the scoresheet onto their engine, along with their post-beans switch lists. They immediately disappeared deep into one of the yard tracks to finish the game, which would only take a few minutes. They would have gotten away with it, except for the fact that the engine radio button had become stuck “on”. So everyone within radio range was treated to this entire play-by play broadcast: “That’ll do. This oughtta be deep enough in the track, so deal ‘em!” (enter the sound of a deck of cards being shuffled, followed by the completion of the game AND who won the big $$$ … ;^)

1. I was driving down E Iron Avenue in Salina, KS early one evening and spotted a dark splash of yellow up this industry track. I circled back around and took this shot of a leased LLPX 2225, in UP colors. With no sign of life it sorta looked like the crew was hiding out, killing time. So I drove up the small alleyway, and…

2. …got this basic roster shot, albeit in a very wide angle. I wanted to see how visible these 2 units were, so I drove further north to…

3. …to the E Ash Street crossing to get this snooping shot. I got my answer. I knew the 2nd trick switch crew was most likely at lunch, but I couldn’t help but recall the 2 tales I’ve just imparted to you TO readers.
(3 photos taken in Salina, KS on May 1, 2012)

That oughtta do, DEAL ‘EM!!!
Lance Garrels
santafe199

PS: I’ve no doubt you railroaders here on TO will recall stories about a few co-workers’, or even your own embarrassing radio broadcasts & other such airwave disasters…



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/16 17:42 by santafe199.

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Remember, all that radio does is enable you to screw up at the speed of light!

The Lyons, Ks ATSF road switcher would normally gather up the cars from the salt mines and take them to Ellinwood for delivery to trains operating on the Fifth District to pick up.  I was told that while down in the yard tracks at night, with all lights extinguished and shades pulled on the caboose, a card game occurred and engineer Bruce ........ was accused by one of the young brakemen of being afraid to bid twenty-five cents on his hand of cards.  And as only Bruce could do, he put this kid in his place by saying "kid, here I'm jeopardizing a $25,000 a year job and you think I'm afraid to bid twenty-five cents in a card game"!

Lance,
  I can think of two stories along this line. The first involves the crew of the south industry switcher, here in Los Angeles. A couple miles south of the yard, the San Pedro Branch passes right by the Gauge Bowling Alley. Now this crew liked to stop in there and have a beer or two and cool down but they knew that the trainmaster on duty would get suspicious if he didn't hear them on the radio for too long. So, thinking they were being slick, as they sat there, sipping their brews, they would, occasionally key the radio and say, "Kick em!". And then, after a moment, "That'll do!". The problem was, the trainmaster was listening and every time they transmitted, he could hear bowling pins cracking in the background and her knew right where they were!

  The other story has more deliberate consequences. Our terminal superintendent, at the time, had hired his nephew as a yardmaster. His nephew was an akward sort of fellow who wore metal leg braces, like Forest Gump, and went around telling everyone that he was a retired Air Force Pilot. His unusually high pitched voice earned him the nickname, "Squeaky". He turned out to be a really poor yardmaster too so noone liked him. Now the superintended had it in his head that many of the yard jobs were taking longer to get their work done that they should have so he started sending Squeaky out to ride with a different job each day and see what was going on. So one day the hoghead on the job has the mic in his lap and he starts quizing Squeaky about all of the managers on the property. So, what do you think about Roger (the supt.)? "He can kiss my a$$!", was Squeaky's reply. Oh? Well, what about trainmaster so and so? "He can bite me. He doesn't know his a$$ from a hole in the ground". And so it went, through the whole list of managers. Of course, this hoghead was broadcasting this entire interview over the radio! Not long after that, Squeaky was transfered to another terminal where he would commit many more blunders until one finally wound him up in jail and the UP was done with him.

The BN SD70MACs with their foot pedal radio switches could get you in trouble if the bottle cap happened to vibrate out of place. You could go a whole minute before the radio would issue a tone to let you know that you were accidental transmitting. I had it happen to me, but luckily didn't say anything  that had irreversible consequences.

Ted Curphey
Ontario, OR

crackerjackhoghead Wrote: > ...he could hear bowling pins cracking in the background
OMG!!!! I think we've just discovered the origination of the unflattering term: "PIN-heads!" (Thank you, so much! :^)

> ...Not long after that, Squeaky was transfered...
Huh boy... Right off the bat I can think of a half-dozen characters I would love to have done that radio-mike thing to during my career...

Great stories!
Lance/199

No radio problem but cards, oh ya.   I was working the SLO extra board and was sent down there to cover a temp vacancy.and working the Lompoc Local, afternoon job in my early years as an engineer, One of the moves was to shove the cab and mty cars up to JM on the White Hills branch. The mtys would be shoved into a small yard. When they got finished tying the brakes, we would cut off and take the engine up to a warehouse that needed to be pulled. They were the only level places on the hill. Everything else was on a 2.0 to 2.2  percent down grade.. The tracks would have 10 or more cars to pull. The other problem was being able to go down to the little yard and shoving the loads back up into it.. !0 cars was about it with an SW 1500 or one SD-9 was all they could handle. When all the bridges were up, we would go inside the warehouse, couple the air and let them get charged which was about 30 " minutes. Then the cards would come out. They played what they called "Railroad Gin". I had played some cards but this was way out of my league at the the time.

Well, you can figure at least 4 pulls and time getting ready to drop down the hill with the whole train and you have a start of an education. It took me 2 days just to keep up with the other 3 guys but I lost some money learning. 

As a side note, it was the only place in my career that had seen small painted signs (3" x 4") low on the on the engineers side. They were only about 1 foot high and it told you how many car lengths you had gone past  the yard switch. You could not see the switch or hand signs after about 3 cars and no pak sets back then. The track went into and out of sharp curves for a while and you knew how many cars you had pulling the track. So if you had say 10 cars you would stop  just a bit past the 10 car marker.  You would wait a second and then start shoving the other direction. If you had not cleared the switch, they would crack the angle cock on the last car. You would see or hear the air, so you would then pull down a few more cars and try shoving again.. A real education on two subjects.

It was there that I found an old tank hook off a steam engine. It had been painted over with silver fence paint for years and years and you really couldn't see it with a passing glance. I gave it a new home and still have it. 

Sorry for getting off the topic.

Nudge



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/16 09:58 by spnudge.

Crackerjack - THAT'S where Squeaky came from, the Teminal Suuperintendant's nephew! What a doofus piece of work he was, I never knew what happened to him after he left LA.

spnudge Wrote: > ...Sorry for getting off the topic...

Not at all! I was expecting my thread to scare up a bunch of 'switch job' stories like yours. It seemes the best RR stories tend to come come outta the yard, rather than off the road. I just wish I had kept up an early habit of scribbling down notes whenever I heard a great story. I got lazy, figuring I could remember all the best stories. I DID remember them... all 5 of them! There are only 4 or 5 dozen great stories that evidently my memory didn't figure were important enough to retain. Sometimes one of my slides (or slide sequences) will occasionally dredge up old story. But most of the time I have to wait for some else's story to jar my memory loose...

Keep 'em coming, guys!
Lance/199



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/16 15:47 by santafe199.

dbinterlock Wrote:
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> Crackerjack - THAT'S where Squeaky came from, the
> Teminal Suuperintendant's nephew! What a doofus
> piece of work he was, I never knew what happened
> to him after he left LA.

  I believe he was transffered to Tacoma or Seattle. The railroad had put him up in a hotel and, one day, while he was sitting in his room, bored I guess, he tapped a bunch of fusees to his alam clock. Later, while he was gone, the maid found it, the police where called and that was the last straw for Squeaky. And that was befor 9/11. Imagine if that happened now!

Oh man, how did you find out? What a TOTAL doofus.

Ruh-roh.

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On our way to Wellington one night. Not much traffic, and not much radio chatter. Someone keyed the mike on the caboose radio, either by accident, or maybe deliberately. For several minutes, those of us on the head end, and everyone else in the area, got to listen to the Brakeman telling the Conductor the story about his vasectomy that went hortibly wrong. He got infected, he swelled up like a football, he could hardly walk, had to lay off a trip, etc. He was forever known as "Lug Nuts" after that.

Posted from Android

Thats good!
​We have "Loose Nuts" in Sparks, but its his initials, and he earned it as well.

"Lug Nuts,"  "Loose Nuts," - Somebody pick me up off the floor...

dbinterlock Wrote:
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> "Lug Nuts,"  "Loose Nuts," - Somebody pick me up
> off the floor...

Gonna have to add "Wing Nut" out of Roseville also. Had ears that stuck straight out.

trainjunkie Wrote:
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> Ruh-roh.

Been there and done that, always makes you pucker-up, lol.

Larry

Good thread.  This is not a stuck button story, but I was foreman on a trimmer one night in the North Yard in Paducah when somebody obviously in violation of Rule G started singing on the radio, and then paused and said, "Boy am I f***ed up..."  The trainmaster, "Hot Tongue" happened to be in the yard tower and he immediately got on the radio and said, "who is this, identify yourself. "  The singer replied, "I may be f***ed up, but I'm not THAT f***ed up....."

eee



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/16 19:10 by eee.

The ole stuck button thing has happened to me, both with devastating results, and both leaving me unscathed from. I had pulled into Oklahoma City on a Z train to make a setout. Upon dropping off, I told the engineer to take them ahead 20 cars. I had gotten into the habit of clipping my mic onto my shirt in the middle of my chest. As I watched our train start to roll by I bent over and hiked my leg up on a tie and was taking car numbers down from my train list looking for my cut. In the middle of making this move the MOW came on the radio talking about lunch, then a bunch of other unrelated stuff about how to get their guy back to the shop, laughing, etc etc. Well, I was trying to make a setout and had to count car lengths down. So, in the middle of all this realizing my cut was coming up and I couldn't get a word in edgewise, I just lost it and blurted out "You stupid no good m**herf**kers can't stay off the f***ing radio for jack sh**!..... F*** ME, How am I supposed to railroad with this s**t!"... Well... all was good for my little outburst there alone with noone around till I stood up and felt the "click" on my mic against my chest. I knew I had been had. The radio had gone completely silent. Needless to say the next voice heard over the radio had to be my own to complete our switching. When all was done (with a little masquerading of my voice), I got back up on the engine and asked my engineer if he heard the guy that was pissed off. He calmy replied "oh yeah, I definetly heard him, very clearly", along with a silent twinkle in his eye, and a coy smile which told me, "you're lucky!".

A second time I was working on spotting up an elevator late at night and had been cut off several weeks, barely making it payday to payday. Working an extra switch engine 100 miles from home just to keep my seniority, I found myself walking along and in the cold and rain alone trying to keep warm when I began to cuss up a storm. I think Matt Rose's name was mentioned a few times. I rambled on for some time, about what all I don't recall, but when I came into the yard office later my helper came up to me and inquired about my feelings towards Matt Rose. I was just stunned and didn't know what to say. I was then kindly informed my little rant had been transmitted for the entire terminal to hear. I quietly finished my shift and never heard another word about it.

Not really a "stuck button" issue, but we had a Trainmaster in Abilene that came up to Superior, NE to snoop around, and "Help" us build a grain train. You know, trying to get us out of town a little faster. Every time he got on the radio and said something, one of the brakemen would hold his packset up to has butt, and fart loud and long. (not me of course, being an engineer, I would never do that).  After a couple hours of switching, he finally ask us if it was just his radio or what, every time he said something, he would get some sort of "static" or  "feed back". I don't thing he ever did figure it out.