Passenger Trains > Report: Airlines Installing Uncomfortable Bumps In Seatbacks

Report: Airlines Installing Uncomfortable Bumps In Seatbacks Because It Pleases Them

The Onion
NEWS IN BRIEF
July 22, 2015

> NEW YORK—According to sources throughout the commercial aviation
> sector, the nation’s airlines will begin installing awkwardly placed
> bumps in every airplane seatback this week because it reportedly
> brings great pleasure to them. “Over the next four to six months,
> across our entire fleet, we’ll be rolling out seats with an
> irritating array of lumps and ridges to painfully jab our customers
> in the back, and we couldn’t be more delighted about it,” said United
> Airlines CEO Jeff Smisek, speaking on behalf of all international,
> regional, and low-cost carriers, every one of whom admitted to
> deriving immense joy from watching their passengers squirm and search
> in vain for a tolerable position. “Let me make clear that these seats
> will be incredibly uncomfortable, and there is nothing more
> gratifying than making the experience of simply sitting during one’s
> flight an excruciating ordeal.” Smisek noted that for an additional
> fee, customers would be allowed to purchase seats with only a single,
> pointed protrusion in the lower back.

LINK:

Report: Airlines Installing Uncomfortable Bumps In Seatbacks Because It Pleases Them


NOTE:  FOR ALL OF YOU WHO RUSHED TO READ THIS BECAUSE IT WOULD BE
"GOOD FOR AMTRAK":...IT'S IN THE ONION! 



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/15 22:58 by GenePoon.

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Allen Greer
Frontier Motel & Cafe, Truxton, AZ

This fits right in with the airline's wifi "dynamic pricing" initiative...

http://nyti.ms/1U6mu0U 

(unfortunately, this article is not from the Onion)

Ray



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/15 17:26 by Ray_Murphy.

Ray_Murphy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This fits right in with the airline's wifi
> "dynamic pricing" initiative...
>
> http://nyti.ms/1U6mu0U 
>
> (unfortunately, this article is not from the
> Onion)
>
> Ray


Actually no, it is completely different, there are valid reasons given in the article.  When you run out of capacity you can either charge more to reduce demand and continue to provide a certain level of service, or just let everyone overwhelm the system at times and ruin the experience for everyone.  Tragedy of the Commons.

April Fools

What always amazes me is how full planes usually are. Over the past 5-10 years, maybe 30 or 40 flights for me, probably better than 95% of all seats occupied. And, I suspect the number of potential passengers unable to book a seat is a very small number. So, demand and supply are probably very close. As for uncomfortable bumps, as long as they are not on the passenger next to me, I might not even notice!

Sound true to me. Air seating comfort is the horrible.

Didn't SP try this with its passenger trains in the '60s?

Don't laugh too much over an "Onion" article as sometimes the Onion stories turn out to be TRUE ......

'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

They should have been awarded the Pulitzer prize for that one .....

As for uncomfortable airline seats, well, you haven't seen anything yet ......

The future of airline seats
 

On the Skyrider airline seat (much less the horrid Ryanair stand-up design), no no no no NO NO way! Can you say utter, total, absolute and complete customer revolt? I can.

Comparing THAT to a saddle and its comfort is ludicrous, even all marketing jive and spin aside. I am not a horseman, but I've ridden enough and for extended periods over the years to know that a good saddle, well matched to the rider, can be relatively comfortable (with the emphasis on the word "relatively"). That Skyrider seat is not even on the same ranch, much less in the same corral. These people will stop at nothing to wring every last penny from us, our comfort and convenience be damned.

Oh wait, that was a certain nineteenth century railroad magnate who is purported to once have said that. Well, it applies. If the shoe fits (or is it the so-called "seat"?), then sit on it. Bet you won't like it for eight hours, like that cowboy is purported to like his saddle for that duration. He just might -- but his is a real saddle, and not some gimcracker supposed imitation.

This thing deserves to be stopped cold in its tracks.

MC
Columbia, Missouri

Sme people select airfares purely on price. How else do you explain the crowds seeking tight, non-reclining seats on Spirit? Everything is a fee based option, carrying on baggage? That'll cost ya. Picking a seat? Pay up.

(And the airline is quite profitable.)

korotaj Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What always amazes me is how full planes usually
> are. Over the past 5-10 years, maybe 30 or 40
> flights for me, probably better than 95% of all
> seats occupied. And, I suspect the number of
> potential passengers unable to book a seat is a
> very small number. So, demand and supply are
> probably very close. As for uncomfortable bumps,
> as long as they are not on the passenger next to
> me, I might not even notice!

That's the power of oligopoly.  If the airlines decide to reduce flights (and seats) to match demand, then they can raise prices greatly, add charges for this and that, and become profitable despite paying for idled planes.  Like oil refiners idling refineries to decrease supply,  increase prices.

mapboy

The airlines are systematically (noted) cutting service to various outlying points as a result of the mergers.  United drops 10 upper midwest and plains destinations, giving Delta/Northwest a monopoly at these airports. Delta turns around and cuts services from Memphis, giving United Containental a monopoly out of Houston to these locations, etc.

The airlines and their unions are benefiting from their oligopoly, and Congress knows it.